A Pinch of Selfishness

It was becoming customary for Hiya to steal some time for herself at this hour of the evening. With a strong mug of coffee in her hand, she stood in her terrace, looking past the horizon.

All through her life, she has been a sorted daughter, wife, daughter-in-law and a conventional professional. But, recently Hiya has started feeling endangered. Her disciplined, analytical and systematic life has been slipping out of her hands, recently. Since last 6 months, her thoughts were not in her control and her actions were against her principles.

She vividly remembers the 1^st time she has seen the baby, her baby, her son. That was a moment of numbness: the last drop of emotion was somehow quenched out of her. For a second, she had sensed a drop of tear near the corner of her left eye. But, later on she had reconfirmed to herself that it was just her delusion.

Love… what an insignificant expression. She doesn’t love her son. They don’t love their son.  Their feeling for their son was still unexplored to them. They were still struggling to measure their emotions for him.

“Hey!” Naren softly hugged her from back and gave a peck. “Go, buck yourself up! It’s nearly 10pm and he will be here any moment. Give me your cup and run.”

“But, Angsh…” Hiya turned towards him with the same perplexed look that has become her permanent companion.

“Trust me lady! We will manage. You need go and grab yourself up”, intervened Naren.

Hiya looked at him with inquisitive eyes, trying hard to read his mind. But, there was nothing in those eye except trust and confidence.

She recalled, Naren was a responsible friend, husband & father. Since Ansgh’s birth, he has been very comforting and supportive. In fact, since the first day of their courtship 16 years back, this man has been with her through thick and thin, but yet recently she felt so distant from him…..

Without saying anything further, she went her to closet, took out the most casual jeans and light grey t-shirt. Tying a knot, she put on a light line of kajal and a mild layer of lipstick. Pepping up for the occasion was in her agenda…after all this was her first outing in last 6 months, but apprehension had marred her plans. This time not for the loves of her life, but for the evening that was in front of her.

Standing in front of the mirror, she stole a glance at her figure, which was still recovering from post pregnancy symptoms.

Her cell phone beeped, “I am outside your society”, It read. She quickly gulped some water, grabbed her purse, gave a kiss to Naren and walked out of her house.

It was a beautiful and serene night. Just after the heavy rains in the evening, the ground still smelled fresh. But, nothing could stop her heartbeats from fastening with each step. Samrat came out of his car and shook her hand firmly. Unknowingly, she blushed. “So?” beamed Samrat while heading towards the car.

“So, we are meeting after a decade! Ghosh! You have put on so much weight”. After months, Hiya could hear her light hearted banters.

She continued like a teenager “Your face is still the same. How is your wife and son?

How was your party with friends?

I still can’t believe you have come to meet me.

You must have come upstairs to meet Naren and Angsh.”

Samrat kept staring at her while she continued.

“Where is my beer?” smirked Hiya.

“What?” the haziness in his eyes deepened. “Shall I start driving?”

“Yes! Obviously. But, what have you got for me?” she has not been this shameless for months now. She felt being herself after ages; she felt brighter after ages!  

He confessed with a hung face that there was nothing for her. As the car rode, so did their talks. There was so much to talk about, so many unspoken memories to cherish, so much of catching up to be done.

 “Would you like to have Pizza?”Samrat interrupted

“No!” she freaked. “We might have tea!”

“Would you like to have chocolates?” he peeked.

“At this hour? All the shops are closed! See it for yourself. Can you see any shop open?

Can you buy me a five star?” she looked at him from the corner of her eyes.

“Open that glove compartment”, casually he threw the words at her and concentrated on driving.

With a childish excitement, she pulled opened the compartment. Her jaws dropped, the folds between the eyes vanquished, the smile turned into a grin. She felt like giving him a tight hug. But, she just asked; “Are these all for me?”

“Ah! No! Had got the book for a friend, but she couldn’t attend the party today. The Bubble is for your 6 months son and the Silk is for your husband. I thought of getting a Five Star for you, but then I forgot!” sheepishly came his response.

Ignoring him, she happily munched on the Cadburys while enjoying the late night breeze. Silence was the only companion of these two friends, who had nothing in common and hardly had time for each other. Where they at all friends?

For her: he was an inspiration. He kept her grounded and helped her to see her future with her loved ones.

Time flew at its own course and even before they released, it was 12:00 am. It was time for their departure. Samrat once again parked the car outside her society. But, just as she was about to leave... “Don’t go! Wait for a few more minutes. Everything that you found there, were for you.” 

They looked into each other’s eye for a few seconds before bursting out into hysterical laughter. Those evening, those chats, those naïve leg-pulls: all zapped up in front of their eyes. Hiya gave one last look at him and came out of the car. Cautiously she shut the door before turning around and running.

Hiya ran till she reached her son’s room. She craved to look back, but she didn’t as her present was awaiting her.

She kissed her son and husband before going for a bath.

A few selfish hours with her friend, actually helped her to be a better human being and a much better mother.